The Taboo of the “S” Word

March 7, 2017

Over the last few weeks I have spoken with numerous people regarding the historically taboo “s” word that carry much weight and is forever life altering. Yet the stigma surrounding it has garnered it to be ushered mainly in churches or hushed whispers. The implication of  being associated with it being more than the speaker can sometimes bear, endure or even express in words. The word which I am referring to is surrender. It has of these words have played a pivotal role at one point or another in my life and in the lives of many others.

Surrender requires you to relinquish your power and control yet it’s your focused intentions which makes the major it can prove to be costly for the person involved but so too can breathing. It had been an anomaly to me because it confounded and left me believing that in undertaking it I would be losing of myself to someone or something while they benefited at my expense. I no longer hold that as my truth and instead how surrender near and dear to my heart. By definition surrender is the act of relinquishing control or power of oneself or a situation to a known or unknown source while detaching from the outcome. Yet what I was not aware of was that the total opposite is true because in being willing to surrender one is afforded the opportunity to gain more power by releasing their desire to predict and control the outcome.

I can recall silently stating empty words such as ‘I surrender’ to the air around me believing that I was releasing my control over a particular situation but my willingness to actually do it were never present. I was in fact still holding tight trying to control the outcome in my favor and most importantly, for my benefit. I honestly didn’t have a clue that my dictation was still control but sometimes you don’t know what you don’t know until you learn otherwise. I was merely emulating the strength my family and friends had exhibited in my presence which was contrary to what surrender requires. Surrender has been perceived as being an act which only weak people oftentimes complete but also which is confused with submission. I never could have imagined the strength and beauty with which surrender can afford me until I surrendered. The benefits which I believe can be gained from true surrender are only accomplished when you are coming from a place of purity: in heart and intentions. I believe that in order, for surrender to be effective is to be in alignment with your heart and intentions and in no way be seeking any particular outcome.

In a surrendered state I had one of the most amazing experiences I have ever been blessed to enjoy and for a long time thereafter I was in a constant state of chasing that experience hoping to recreate it again and again. Knowing full well that if I were in a conscious state I would not ever surrender my control, relinquished my power and resisted the urge to fight back but in that perfect moment my heart spoke up and over-rode my ego and said “alright, I’m tired of fighting and I’m tapping out. I surrender!” That experience has taught and continues to teach me I must chin-check my ego to settle her down and be of a pure heart so that I’m able to experience more majestic surrendered states. I found this quote by Doreen Virtue a few years ago and it has given me much strength along my journey so I’ll share it with you “the more I surrender, the more control I have.”  

As I think back over my upbringing I can’t recollect the word surrender ever being uttered in my house and I’m not sure if that were by default or by design. So it wasn’t until I became an adult and began to attend church that I first encountered the word surrender. The illusive word which the preacher spouted all too often without any how to complete this task direction aside from laying it all at the alter beneath the feet of Jesus. Again I couldn’t rationalize how to actually manifest and do just that. My reality didn’t invoke me being able to lay anything down and at the alter. My grandmother was a very strong woman who frequently hustled and bustled about her home moving from one level to another cooking, cleaning, preparing and completing laundry and tending to our family dog. And my mother having been raised by such a beautiful and strong woman naturally developed into a strong woman herself who instead of putting herself before others she did as her mother had done and placed others before and above her. She too was always on the go and not quite competent in the art of surrender learning from her mother and society that one’s life isn’t complete unless one is always doing or giving something and therefore, effectively avoiding the space and time required to just be while surrendering the outcome to a source greater than herself. She in turn demonstrated for us what she’d known to be true and in turn raised strong children who have continued on but the cycle stops with me. I greatly allow and welcome opportunities to surrender no, I didn’t see but I’ve experienced it and it has made all the difference in me now being an advocate for it. 

I believe there’s a time and place to assess a relationship, a place or things to see if they are still relevant and serving there purpose in your life and if not surrender them and it while being grateful for the experiences that you were able to garner and learn as a result of having known them. For far too long I held so tightly to relationships, places and things which had clearly run their respective courses but I didn’t want to release them now I merely surrender them as life goes on. I desire to be less resistant to the flow of life and more in the stream of miracles. 

Lessons learned surrender is of benefit to us all and if you’ll just give it a go I promise you won’t regret it. What does it take or has it taken for you to surrender?

In Love & Light,



  1. LawOfPolish · March 28, 2017

    you’ve done it yet again, Crys.


  2. Pingback: Wellness Wednesday: Surrender | Law of Polish
    • ccbl27 · March 29, 2017

      Thank you so much Tiff. I love and appreciate you and the support.



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